Well, it has been a long time since I wrote anything in my blog. Life happens! It always seems to keep happening. I think the last I blogged was an upload from Photobucket. So let's see......
I am now 19 weeks pregnant with my fourth! Yes, quite a surprise for us. My sonogram is scheduled for this Friday so hopefully I will find out boy or girl. A whole lot of people are hoping for blue over here! With three girls, Michael is so outnumbered!
I lost my job in August. That was very hard. Not only did I lose my job, but my computer crashed (literally). A power surge in a sever thunderstorm took it out. I finally got it back just a few days ago. I found a job (not my dream job), but it's a job part time. It's better than unemployment.
Kayla and Emma started school. Kayla, third grade and Emma, Kindergarten. I cried so hard when the bus left first day. Pregnancy hormones or just being a mom, I don't know! Kayla is excelling so much faster than what I expected. The only complaint her teacher has is she needs to slow down. She finishes her work too quickly. Emma, on the other hand, will require speech therapy again this year as well as occupational therapy for her fine motor skills. I wa shoping she had surpassed this, but she is a tough lil' thing and doesn't let the small things hold her back. Otherwise, she is loving Kindergarten and doing very well.
I learned that a dear friend of mine is engaged to be married, landed her dream position, and is having a baby! Alot for her to take in at once. I was devastated to learn she had lost the baby and I wasn't there for her. This is a woman who has gone through so much medically in her life that this is one blow she didn't need. I have faith that she will have strength and perserverance to get through this. She has a great guy (from what I heard, I have yet to meet him) and a very supportive family. One I am glad to call my adopted family.
Like I said, life has happened over the past few months. We have had our gains, we have had our losses, but through it all I maintained my faith in the Lord above. Would I be lying if I said my faith teetered a bit? No, because at times I cried out Dear Lord, why me? But His answer came swiftly. I will not give you anything that you cannot handle My child. I am always here. Thank you Dear Lord for that!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
McLinky Blog Hop Tuesday 7/7/09
Favorite picture:
Allison is looking at Emma and Kayla like are they my sisters, REALLY??????
Get your McLinky Today!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
April Rose.... a fake... my heart did not want to believe.....
It has taken me awhile to update my blog. Life has happened as I say, but I do want to address the whole "April Rose" issue. I followed this blog daily. I rejoiced in the positive updates, I cried at the setbacks, they had me all the way until.... the truth came out. The truth hurt. How could someone fake a sick baby? Was it for money? Did they truly have this happen in their life and this was their way of dealing with it now? Anyone who has read my blog has seen how much I wished for this baby to be born alive if even for a few moments. And it saddens me that it was never true. That technically it mimcked someone else's own true story of pain and heartache. I cannot be angry with the person who did this because they seriously need help to overcome whatever made them do this. I do hope that everyone can say a prayers for the true victims in this situation. Not the bloggers who stood steadfas with "B", Beccah, whatever her true name is, but the woman who lost her own child to Trisomy only one year ago. Her name is Raechel and although I do not have the specifics on her site, I have read excerpts of her own heartbreak only a year ago and I can't imagine what she is going through now basically reliving it in a fake scenario of her own heartbreak. So please everyone pray for Raechel to get through this. Pray that Beccah, "B" is delivered from her wrongdoing and is given the strength to overcome whatever brought her to do this. Only two know of why she did, herself and the Lord.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Hoping In Pink For April Rose
As most of you know, I follow some blogs religiously! April Rose happens to be one of them (see link to her page on this page).
Today is April's mommy's due date! 40 weeks... a milestone she didn't think she would make! Well, her friend (Raechel) proposed an idea that anyone that can possibly participate on this day do this for April's mom. Wear something pink, anything pink, because afterall we are "Hoping In Pink" and email it to hopinginpink@gmail.com . She is posting all pictures for April's mommy to look at. She has quite a few so far. And don't worry if you can't wear pink or don't have pink. Take a picture of something pink and the title of the day, "Hoping In Pink". That is what I did.
Dear little April Rose:
I hope you are born screaming your little heart out. Your mommy needs to hear your cries. She has wanted to see your face for so long, hold you in her arms, and love you. May God continue to let you grow (even though you are only a lil' peanut) until it is time for you to be born. You have overcome so many milestones with your mommy already, and people are truly amazed you made it this far. Stay strong, grow stronger, and come out to your mommy and daddy the lil' fighter that you are. They can't wait for you to be here and those who have been praying for you can't wait for you to be here either. You are loved in so many ways! God Bless!!!!
~Hope
Marlboro, NY
Today is April's mommy's due date! 40 weeks... a milestone she didn't think she would make! Well, her friend (Raechel) proposed an idea that anyone that can possibly participate on this day do this for April's mom. Wear something pink, anything pink, because afterall we are "Hoping In Pink" and email it to hopinginpink@gmail.com . She is posting all pictures for April's mommy to look at. She has quite a few so far. And don't worry if you can't wear pink or don't have pink. Take a picture of something pink and the title of the day, "Hoping In Pink". That is what I did.
Dear little April Rose:
I hope you are born screaming your little heart out. Your mommy needs to hear your cries. She has wanted to see your face for so long, hold you in her arms, and love you. May God continue to let you grow (even though you are only a lil' peanut) until it is time for you to be born. You have overcome so many milestones with your mommy already, and people are truly amazed you made it this far. Stay strong, grow stronger, and come out to your mommy and daddy the lil' fighter that you are. They can't wait for you to be here and those who have been praying for you can't wait for you to be here either. You are loved in so many ways! God Bless!!!!
~Hope
Marlboro, NY
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sometimes I Think I Am Crazy, but I See Something In These Photos
I was looking through the different photos posted on Adam Freeman's Facebook by people all around the country (possibly world, not everyone gave their location) posted of their balloon launch in memory of Kayleigh.
The first one I saw that actually had a description of after the balloon was launched and I took the picture, a cloud resembled an angel. Well, I didn't see the "angel" they were referring to, but I distinctly saw what looked to me like a face. Yes, eyes, nose, and mouth. Judge for yourself:
In the next three, it almost looks as if the balloons are floating into Heaven's light (they are gorgeous photos)
In this photo in particular, it looks as though there are "angel's wings" on the right side of the photo (they are faint in the clouds)
And finally in the last photo, it looks as if there is an angel's silouette in the clouds. if you look under the last three balloons on the right hand side you can see it.
As I said, I may be crazy, but I see something here. I think lil' Kayleigh made her presence known to all who supported her and her family in one form or another. In my case I believe it was the mysterious purple balloon and the "stuck" balloon unsticking itself, flying higher than anyone could imagine, and whisking itself south. The ONLY balloon that went south.
The Lord works in mysterious ways and our loved ones (or those we have prayed for) let us know they are watching in mysterious ways.
Have you ever seen a butterfly and thought of a loved one passed? Have you ever heard a special song and felt the prescence of someone gone to soon? Have you ever felt a cool breeze and the feeling that things would be okay and your "guardian angel" was with you?
All of these things could be a sign that our loved ones (friends or family) are still with us, watching us, protecting us, loving us.
Rest in peace sweet Kayleigh and may God continue to give strength to the Freeman family!
The first one I saw that actually had a description of after the balloon was launched and I took the picture, a cloud resembled an angel. Well, I didn't see the "angel" they were referring to, but I distinctly saw what looked to me like a face. Yes, eyes, nose, and mouth. Judge for yourself:
In the next three, it almost looks as if the balloons are floating into Heaven's light (they are gorgeous photos)
In this photo in particular, it looks as though there are "angel's wings" on the right side of the photo (they are faint in the clouds)
And finally in the last photo, it looks as if there is an angel's silouette in the clouds. if you look under the last three balloons on the right hand side you can see it.
As I said, I may be crazy, but I see something here. I think lil' Kayleigh made her presence known to all who supported her and her family in one form or another. In my case I believe it was the mysterious purple balloon and the "stuck" balloon unsticking itself, flying higher than anyone could imagine, and whisking itself south. The ONLY balloon that went south.
The Lord works in mysterious ways and our loved ones (or those we have prayed for) let us know they are watching in mysterious ways.
Have you ever seen a butterfly and thought of a loved one passed? Have you ever heard a special song and felt the prescence of someone gone to soon? Have you ever felt a cool breeze and the feeling that things would be okay and your "guardian angel" was with you?
All of these things could be a sign that our loved ones (friends or family) are still with us, watching us, protecting us, loving us.
Rest in peace sweet Kayleigh and may God continue to give strength to the Freeman family!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Kayleigh Anne Freeman's Balloon Launch
My girls and I released balloons in memory of Lil' Kayleigh. Before I share the launch, I would like to share two pictures that were on Aimee's page. One is of a letter (or note) that was typed like it was coming from Lil Kayleigh:
And the sweet Lil' Angel who has touched so may lives and filled our hearts with her amazing strength, Kayleigh Anne Freeman:
It was an uneventful Sunday. I bought four, pink latex balloons to let go. We decided to do the launch at my future mother-in-law's home because we had not seen them in a week and they wanted to be involved. We arrived there about 2:30p. I go to get out of the car and my mother-in-law says, "A strange thing occured right before you arrived. I was sitting on the back patio and thought I saw a large purple bird (at this point I am asking her how much wine she had, lol) and I went out the door to the woods and found a single purple balloon floating." She saved it and had it tied to her grill.
The girls immediately wanted the balloon. They took turns playing with it and at one point we had to chase it down to the lake across the street because it "drifted".
I readied the balloons for the launch. I filled out the cards and placed them on the balloon.
I removed the heart which was holding the balloons down. This I am placing my bible to remember Kayleigh.
At this point, I was set. We went out to the road because we thought that there wouldn't be anything the balloons could get caught on. In the yard there were TONS of trees.
A plane flew overhead right as we were about to release the balloons. It was flying SOUTH. Allie (holding tight to the purple balloon that found it's way to mother in laws) blew a kiss to the plane and the first balloon released by her big sister, Kayla.
The first balloon drifted east so quick it was hard to keep track!
The second balloon. my lil' Emma's got caught in the tree!!!!
The third and fourth balloons drifted east also, but not as quick!
By this point Michael (my fiance) is throwing a rock at the tree branch that the other balloon is stuck on. I said to him, "Before you give yourself a concussion, stop throwing rocks". He finally stopped. As we are trying to keep track of the balloons as they disappear into the sky, all of a sudden I hear the girls scream, "Look Mommy! The balloon is UNSTUCK!" And I swear as God is my witness that balloon blew out of that branch WITH NO WIND! It flew straight up and when I say straight up, it was so high I thought it would just pop and drop.
But, it didn't. And for some reason when that balloon got as high as it could go, it blew south. THAT is when the tears started flowing. I said, "Dear Lord, is that lil' Kayleigh taking her balloon and grasping it? Is she now sending it south towards her mommy and daddy?"
And that precise moment, the sun shown through the clouds for the first time ALL DAY!!!!!
After the launch was over and we were walking back to the house, the purple balloon all of a sudden "popped". No warning, nothing. It was in the air, string in Allie's hand one second and POP the next!
Releasing those balloons in Kayleigh's memory will live with me for the rest of my life. I may have never personally met her and her family, but they remain on my mind and in my heart everyday!!! God bless the Freeman's for the strength they show. God bless lil' Kayleigh for her strength and determination her 11 months of life. May whomever finds the cards, pieces of paper, etc. from those balloons log onto her website and read her story. May her strength and life live on forever!!!!
The things that happened today such as the purple balloon showing up and popping on it's own, the plane flying south, the balloon getting stuck going straight up and then south, may ALL be coincidences. Or it could all be a lil' girl's spirit who knew how much people prayed for her. How much she was truly loved by her family and all who supported her.
Again, God bless you Aimee and Adam. You truly have the fight and determination that some can only dream of having!!!!!
~Hope
Marlboro, NY
A picture of some of the family involved. This is my lil' sister Katie who also prayed for Kayleigh, but could not attend our launch, myself (Hope), Emma Rose (age 5), Kayla Anne (age 7.5 yrs. the one who prayed for Kayleigh the day after she passed) and lil' Allison Jade.
And the sweet Lil' Angel who has touched so may lives and filled our hearts with her amazing strength, Kayleigh Anne Freeman:
It was an uneventful Sunday. I bought four, pink latex balloons to let go. We decided to do the launch at my future mother-in-law's home because we had not seen them in a week and they wanted to be involved. We arrived there about 2:30p. I go to get out of the car and my mother-in-law says, "A strange thing occured right before you arrived. I was sitting on the back patio and thought I saw a large purple bird (at this point I am asking her how much wine she had, lol) and I went out the door to the woods and found a single purple balloon floating." She saved it and had it tied to her grill.
The girls immediately wanted the balloon. They took turns playing with it and at one point we had to chase it down to the lake across the street because it "drifted".
I readied the balloons for the launch. I filled out the cards and placed them on the balloon.
I removed the heart which was holding the balloons down. This I am placing my bible to remember Kayleigh.
At this point, I was set. We went out to the road because we thought that there wouldn't be anything the balloons could get caught on. In the yard there were TONS of trees.
A plane flew overhead right as we were about to release the balloons. It was flying SOUTH. Allie (holding tight to the purple balloon that found it's way to mother in laws) blew a kiss to the plane and the first balloon released by her big sister, Kayla.
The first balloon drifted east so quick it was hard to keep track!
The second balloon. my lil' Emma's got caught in the tree!!!!
The third and fourth balloons drifted east also, but not as quick!
By this point Michael (my fiance) is throwing a rock at the tree branch that the other balloon is stuck on. I said to him, "Before you give yourself a concussion, stop throwing rocks". He finally stopped. As we are trying to keep track of the balloons as they disappear into the sky, all of a sudden I hear the girls scream, "Look Mommy! The balloon is UNSTUCK!" And I swear as God is my witness that balloon blew out of that branch WITH NO WIND! It flew straight up and when I say straight up, it was so high I thought it would just pop and drop.
But, it didn't. And for some reason when that balloon got as high as it could go, it blew south. THAT is when the tears started flowing. I said, "Dear Lord, is that lil' Kayleigh taking her balloon and grasping it? Is she now sending it south towards her mommy and daddy?"
And that precise moment, the sun shown through the clouds for the first time ALL DAY!!!!!
After the launch was over and we were walking back to the house, the purple balloon all of a sudden "popped". No warning, nothing. It was in the air, string in Allie's hand one second and POP the next!
Releasing those balloons in Kayleigh's memory will live with me for the rest of my life. I may have never personally met her and her family, but they remain on my mind and in my heart everyday!!! God bless the Freeman's for the strength they show. God bless lil' Kayleigh for her strength and determination her 11 months of life. May whomever finds the cards, pieces of paper, etc. from those balloons log onto her website and read her story. May her strength and life live on forever!!!!
The things that happened today such as the purple balloon showing up and popping on it's own, the plane flying south, the balloon getting stuck going straight up and then south, may ALL be coincidences. Or it could all be a lil' girl's spirit who knew how much people prayed for her. How much she was truly loved by her family and all who supported her.
Again, God bless you Aimee and Adam. You truly have the fight and determination that some can only dream of having!!!!!
~Hope
Marlboro, NY
A picture of some of the family involved. This is my lil' sister Katie who also prayed for Kayleigh, but could not attend our launch, myself (Hope), Emma Rose (age 5), Kayla Anne (age 7.5 yrs. the one who prayed for Kayleigh the day after she passed) and lil' Allison Jade.
Bless You, God Bless You, or nothing at all?
Last night I was working and someone sneezed. I said, "Bless You". I say that to anyone who sneezes within a ten foot radius of me! This person, instead of a simple thank you replies, "That's what is wrong with the world today. Everyone takes God out of everything." and walks away. I was left bewildered. I didn't say GOD bless you because I did that to someone of no faith one time and got blasted for using His name. I was at a loss. Trying to be polite and get judged for not saying God? I love the Lord. He is my strength and redeemer. I think he understands why it wasn't said "that way". In no disrespect to how I was taught growing up, but the Lord is in my life everyday. He is part of everything. I don't exclude him. What would you do in a situation such as this? Walk away or call the person on their comment? I am still thinking all this over today!!!!
As for today, please remember to let a balloon go (preferably pink) at 4:00pm in memory of Kayleigh Anne Freeman. If at all possible also place a card on the and of the balloon that reads:
Kayleigh Anne Freeman
Our One Pound Miracle from God
(6/23/08 - 5/11/09)
www.KayleighAnneFreeman.blogspot.com
So whomever finds the card may look into her story and her life will live on! God Bless the Freeman's today and always!
As for today, please remember to let a balloon go (preferably pink) at 4:00pm in memory of Kayleigh Anne Freeman. If at all possible also place a card on the and of the balloon that reads:
Kayleigh Anne Freeman
Our One Pound Miracle from God
(6/23/08 - 5/11/09)
www.KayleighAnneFreeman.blogspot.com
So whomever finds the card may look into her story and her life will live on! God Bless the Freeman's today and always!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Conversations With A Child
Last night I was at my daughters' soccer games. Emma was playing and Michael and I were playing "tag team" with the other two girls at the adjoining playground. It was my turn at the playground and the sun was setting so beautifully (if that's even a word)! While I was helping my baby girl Allison, only two years old climb, I couldn't help but stare at the sunset and think of Kayleigh. What is she doing in Heaven? When children pass away do their souls grow up immediately or do they age as they would here on Earth? My oldest, Kayla, noticed I was just kind of staring. And she says, "Hello Mommy, you there?" Waving her hand in front of my eyes. I said, "Yes honey, just thinking is all." Of course being a lil' wisenheimer she says, "You think too much." The girls then decide they are going to build sand castles. The playground is located on a bed of play sand. I help them build and start staring at the sun again. I found a rock and cleared sand until I found the wet part which is always buried underneath and wrote "Kayleigh Anne" in the sand and started to say a prayer for her and her family. This sparks Kayla's interest and she says, "Mommy, why did you spell my name wrong?" She is after all KAYLA ANNE. I said, "I didn't honey. I am saying a prayer for this lil' girl and her family. The sun is shining down on her name and I know God is looking over this family." She asks, "What happened? How little is this little girl?" I said, "It's hard to talk about this to you because you are only seven, but I know you understand things. Remember how mommy reads about other families who are in need or who need prayers and I pray for them? Well this lil' girl was born very tiny. She only weighed a pound. She never got to leave the hospital, but she fought to gain strength and get bigger, but she couldn't fight anymore. She was only eleven months old and she went to be with Jesus." Well her eyes got huge! She said, "I don't know what I would do if one of my sisters ever died." And she knelt down right next to me and said, "Dear God, please keep Kayleigh safe and warm. Please help her mommy and daddy not to be so sad. Let them feel Kayleigh in their hearts just like I feel my uncle in my heart." We think children are oblivious to situations, but between being emotional as it was constantly thinking about Lil' Kayleigh yesterday and then having my daughter saya prayer was SO big in my eyes. She only knew what I told her, but yet she cared enough to pray for the fmaily. That means SO much to me!!!! She may have her times where she doesn't listen and drives me batty, but she has a heart and she has shown it more than once. God Bless the Freeman's and God Bless all those who have prayed for them!!!!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Kayleigh Anne Freeman (June 23, 2008 - May 11, 2009 @ 9:44PM)
I have been following a blog for awhile and have mentioned it not only in my blog, but on the message board I belong to. http://kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/
Lil' Kayleigh born at only one pound and fought for eleven moths gave up her fight last night. Her parents had eleven months with her, but none could be spent at home because of the fragility of her health. her parents dream was for Kayleigh to pass at home, but her lil' body just became more and more weak. My heart breaks for this family. I have never lost a child, but I could not imagine what the pain must be like. I was talking to a friend of mine via IM and she said "Miangel welcomed her to heaven with open arms". Miangel is a lil' baby who lost her life to SIDS two years ago September 8th. She would have been two this past Friday. I am working on a poem about Kayleigh. I am not sure how it will turn out, so bear with me while I finish it. My heart breaks for her family and they will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers the next few days, weeks, months....... God Bless the Freeman family at this time and always!
Lil' Kayleigh born at only one pound and fought for eleven moths gave up her fight last night. Her parents had eleven months with her, but none could be spent at home because of the fragility of her health. her parents dream was for Kayleigh to pass at home, but her lil' body just became more and more weak. My heart breaks for this family. I have never lost a child, but I could not imagine what the pain must be like. I was talking to a friend of mine via IM and she said "Miangel welcomed her to heaven with open arms". Miangel is a lil' baby who lost her life to SIDS two years ago September 8th. She would have been two this past Friday. I am working on a poem about Kayleigh. I am not sure how it will turn out, so bear with me while I finish it. My heart breaks for her family and they will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers the next few days, weeks, months....... God Bless the Freeman family at this time and always!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Mother's Day 2009
I received this in my email and wanted to share it with you all...... How true it is! Happy Mother's Day to all!!!!
Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby..
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom...
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom .
Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby..
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom...
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom .
Thursday, May 7, 2009
High's/Lo's Thursday!
This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and get your link on their site.My high's this week are:
Emma is excelling in speech and will be in her first sports article this Friday (her soccer team won their first game), Allison is speaking more everyday, Kayla had an awesome report card and good parent/teacher conference, I have a job (even if it doesn't pay much), my health is somewhat okay, my children are ALWAYS my highs no matter how rambunctious or mouthy they get
My lo's:
I don't know where we will get the money to pay all of the accumulating bills, I still need to go through tests for my pituitary tumor, back and see a gastroenterologist, I don't know how we will handle finding child care when we don't have the money to pay for it and NY has cut back on it's child care subsidary
What are your high's and low's?
Monday, May 4, 2009
Just Made This On WiddlyTinks.com
I belong to a message board (hi girls!) and someone had a link to www.widdlytinks.com It has pregnancy counters, birthday counters, photo collage thingys, and stick families...... I am loving it!!!!!
Photo Tinks by WiddlyTinks.com
My Stick Family from WiddlyTinks.com
Photo Tinks by WiddlyTinks.com
My Stick Family from WiddlyTinks.com
Friday, May 1, 2009
Happy Birthday Emma Rose!
Tomorrow, May 2nd, Emma will be FIVE! She starts Kindergarten in September. Where has time gone? My lil' baby has grown to school age. She has overcome so many obstacles and she teaches me what it is like to fight, to not give up, because she is a trooper! I love her more everyday! Happy Birthday Baby!!!!!
My Montage 5/1/09
My Montage 5/1/09
Health, Anniversaries, Birthdays... OH MY!
This past week has been such a whirlwind. April 25th was my Allison Jade's second birthday.
Very uneventful for a second birthday because I had to work. Her first birthday also uneventful because we were on our way home from vacation which was Memphis,Tennessee with her Nana and Grampy (Grampy LOVES Elvis). I feel terrible for her not being able to experience a real birthday, but both years funds have been very low. She is sharing a party with her older sister, Emma this weekend. Emma's birthday is this Saturday, May 2nd and she will be five (going to work on a montage for her... more on that later).
Next comes the doctor's appointment. I have been having issues with my piuitary gland for awhile now. I was diagnosed with a tumor in 1997, right before my father passed away. I didn't tolerate medication, so in 1999 they removed it and it was benign. Well, now here I am again in 2009 and it has regrown. It is significantly smaller, but it has only JUST started to grow back. Having this tumor cause issues with, well, "womanly" functions. Those issues have resurfaced. I thought it was because of the tumor and the doctor ordered blood work and an ultrasound to rule out any tumors, cysts, etc. "in the womanly organs". Needless to say, those all came back NORMAL! Thank God for that, but now I have to go to MORE doctors to find the answers to what is causing all of these new "issues" I am having.
Wednesday, April 29th, was the anniversary of my father's passing. TWELVE YEARS! I can hardly believe twelve years have gone. Still to this day, I miss him more than ever. I know that I will see him someday in Heaven because he was a goodman. He may have had some faults, but we all do, right? I spent the greater part of my lunch hour at the cemetary. I don't go there as often as I used to, but there are just some days that I go and sit by the stone, reflect on life and what is going on, and "talk" to my father. It may sound strange because I know the body is no longer here, but I feel "at peace" when I am there. I don't have anxiety, I don't worry about everything, it's just me, the trees, the sound of birds, the breeze, my father's presence (oh have I felt it), and the Lord. Here is an older pic of my father and my grandmother (his mom). I love this picture! He loved his family and you can tell by how he is holding onto my grandmother and OH did she love him too!
Now, it is Friday and Emma Rose's Fifth birthday is closing in. Five years ago I was already IN labor! Emma's labor was nearly thrity six hours long. She was a lil' bugger and didn't want to come out. They had to give me Pitocin to bring her down. But, I persevered and she was born on May 2, 2004 at 11:30am. She was my lil' hambone weighing 8lbs. 2.5oz and was 20 inches. She never cried... and I mean NEVER! Not even a whimper. She just came out and looked around. I look at this child and she has overcome SO many obstacles in her life. She failed her hearing tests, but eventually passed. The hair that moves sound waves in our ear was "stiff". She had speech difficulty, but has made leaps and bounds with her speech teacher. She has fine motor difficulty, but she is also overcoming that. She is still a very SENSITIVE child and has her tantrum moments, but I love her more than life herself. On her "bad days" I just want to cry because I try and comfort her during her tanturms or try to find a way that she won't tantrum, but I haven't found an answer. I am still looking for an answer as to how and why. Again, I turn to the Lord for that!
It's been a whirlwind week with blog reading also..... Lil' April Rose http://littleoneapril.blogspot.com/
not yet born and with SO Much against her keeps getting STRONGER! Here mom's belly GREW after not growing for three plus months and they said she wouldn't grow any bigger. They said her heartrate would only get lower and now it's in the 130's and has been for two weeks plus. Is this the Lord's work. Is He listening to all these people who follow April's mom's blog that aren't her "real life" friends and all the prayers for a miracle? Only time will tell!
Lil' Kayleigh.... http://kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/ such a fighter and beautiful baby girl! Now she is having so many problems. The doctor's have basically declared her "brain dead" but her parents just want to be able to take her home, have family time, let her be in the room they prepared for over nine months ago, and be at home with her family when she passes... IF and when she passes.
So many blogs I follow. I try to read each daily, but between three kids, my work, it gets hard. But even if I don't get around to reading the blog, I still think and pray about each situation, each person affected daily. I have always been the type of person to put my own needs to the side and focus on others. So in closing, I wish everyone nothing but the best. I pray the Lord continues to hear your prayers, my prayers, your friends prayers, and heeds to your wishes, grants you your miracle, or simply gives the comfort you need in a time of need.
This has been a busy week (a rough week), but I have gotten by on prayer and my chidlren's laughter!!!!
Very uneventful for a second birthday because I had to work. Her first birthday also uneventful because we were on our way home from vacation which was Memphis,Tennessee with her Nana and Grampy (Grampy LOVES Elvis). I feel terrible for her not being able to experience a real birthday, but both years funds have been very low. She is sharing a party with her older sister, Emma this weekend. Emma's birthday is this Saturday, May 2nd and she will be five (going to work on a montage for her... more on that later).
Next comes the doctor's appointment. I have been having issues with my piuitary gland for awhile now. I was diagnosed with a tumor in 1997, right before my father passed away. I didn't tolerate medication, so in 1999 they removed it and it was benign. Well, now here I am again in 2009 and it has regrown. It is significantly smaller, but it has only JUST started to grow back. Having this tumor cause issues with, well, "womanly" functions. Those issues have resurfaced. I thought it was because of the tumor and the doctor ordered blood work and an ultrasound to rule out any tumors, cysts, etc. "in the womanly organs". Needless to say, those all came back NORMAL! Thank God for that, but now I have to go to MORE doctors to find the answers to what is causing all of these new "issues" I am having.
Wednesday, April 29th, was the anniversary of my father's passing. TWELVE YEARS! I can hardly believe twelve years have gone. Still to this day, I miss him more than ever. I know that I will see him someday in Heaven because he was a goodman. He may have had some faults, but we all do, right? I spent the greater part of my lunch hour at the cemetary. I don't go there as often as I used to, but there are just some days that I go and sit by the stone, reflect on life and what is going on, and "talk" to my father. It may sound strange because I know the body is no longer here, but I feel "at peace" when I am there. I don't have anxiety, I don't worry about everything, it's just me, the trees, the sound of birds, the breeze, my father's presence (oh have I felt it), and the Lord. Here is an older pic of my father and my grandmother (his mom). I love this picture! He loved his family and you can tell by how he is holding onto my grandmother and OH did she love him too!
Now, it is Friday and Emma Rose's Fifth birthday is closing in. Five years ago I was already IN labor! Emma's labor was nearly thrity six hours long. She was a lil' bugger and didn't want to come out. They had to give me Pitocin to bring her down. But, I persevered and she was born on May 2, 2004 at 11:30am. She was my lil' hambone weighing 8lbs. 2.5oz and was 20 inches. She never cried... and I mean NEVER! Not even a whimper. She just came out and looked around. I look at this child and she has overcome SO many obstacles in her life. She failed her hearing tests, but eventually passed. The hair that moves sound waves in our ear was "stiff". She had speech difficulty, but has made leaps and bounds with her speech teacher. She has fine motor difficulty, but she is also overcoming that. She is still a very SENSITIVE child and has her tantrum moments, but I love her more than life herself. On her "bad days" I just want to cry because I try and comfort her during her tanturms or try to find a way that she won't tantrum, but I haven't found an answer. I am still looking for an answer as to how and why. Again, I turn to the Lord for that!
It's been a whirlwind week with blog reading also..... Lil' April Rose http://littleoneapril.blogspot.com/
not yet born and with SO Much against her keeps getting STRONGER! Here mom's belly GREW after not growing for three plus months and they said she wouldn't grow any bigger. They said her heartrate would only get lower and now it's in the 130's and has been for two weeks plus. Is this the Lord's work. Is He listening to all these people who follow April's mom's blog that aren't her "real life" friends and all the prayers for a miracle? Only time will tell!
Lil' Kayleigh.... http://kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/ such a fighter and beautiful baby girl! Now she is having so many problems. The doctor's have basically declared her "brain dead" but her parents just want to be able to take her home, have family time, let her be in the room they prepared for over nine months ago, and be at home with her family when she passes... IF and when she passes.
So many blogs I follow. I try to read each daily, but between three kids, my work, it gets hard. But even if I don't get around to reading the blog, I still think and pray about each situation, each person affected daily. I have always been the type of person to put my own needs to the side and focus on others. So in closing, I wish everyone nothing but the best. I pray the Lord continues to hear your prayers, my prayers, your friends prayers, and heeds to your wishes, grants you your miracle, or simply gives the comfort you need in a time of need.
This has been a busy week (a rough week), but I have gotten by on prayer and my chidlren's laughter!!!!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Happy Birthday Allison Jade!
My baby girl, Allison Jade, turns two today, April 25th. She was born on a Wednesday at 4:58pm. She weighed 7lbs. 9 oz and was 18 in. long. She was 3.5 weeks early and was conceived with an IUD in place. The IUD was never found. The Lord wanted this child here for some reason. A reason not yet known. I am so glad I am her mother. She brings me such joy everyday. She is a comic and is so smart! God Bless her on her birthday and everyday! Please enjoy this montage that I made for her on www.Slide.com
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Hi/Lo Thursday
This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and get your link on their site.My "Highs":
Reading Lil April Rose's Blog and knowing her heart rate was in the 130's; being able to have a car to drive this weekend; thankful that Emma's speech teacher thinks she may be able to be in a "normal" kindergarten come September; having all three of my girls that I never expected to have because I was told I would never have children; living to this ripe old age (I know so old) of 31 when I have survived a pituitary tumor, a spinal cord tumor, and the regrowth of the pituitary tumor. God is good... He listens to our troubles, He listens to our prayers for others..... He is good!
My "low's":
Not knowing what is going to happen the next time I go to the doctor's; not knowing if Allison will also need Speech therapy like my little Emma receives (she will be two Saturday and only speaks 23 words); wishing my father were still here and not looking forward to the anniversary of his death, April 29th; wishing I could provide a more stable financhial "bed" for my children; working a PT job at Walmart because I was laid off of my good paying job and Walmart pays more than unemployment would; not knowing how I am going to pay the bills next month
New York State Department of Motor Vehicle
Need I say more? No, seriously....... I had an insurance lapse, but PAID my insurance. Little did I know they sent out a suspension notice on plates and my license. I never received it. Come to find out, the DMV does not forward mail. It is returned as "non deliverable". So, Lo and Behold, we are going to my fiance's father's for his birthday and we are passed in the opposite direction by the police. They have a plate reader. We pulled into the gas station (our first stop anyway) and he pulls in behind us. He says, "Are you aware your plates are suspended?" No, I wasn't. He take smy license. your license is also suspended...... REAL NICE! So, by the grace of the Lord, he lets me continue to my inlaws because I had all three kids in the car and I promise him I will stay put, but had to go to DMV first thing Monday (this happened on Friday). I go and tell them never got a notice, yadda yadda, well coem to find out, I cannot re register my vehcile until I have "served the full term of suspension. July 20th! I can drive, but I have to pay $85 for my license plus I paid a fee of $110 for a fine for the suspended plates. GREAT! So, I said why did I not get the notice? I filled out the ONLINE change of address form. Her reply, the system must have been down or you did not submit it properly. GREAT! So I am without a vehicle until July 20th. Here sits my car in my driveway and I can't use it. All because they did not forward my mail...... I need to move to a new state!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Interesting Email That I Received
If any of you agree, please feel free to cut, copy, and paste... sne dto your family and friends. Praise God! He is good!
Love and prayers~ Hope
This one is definitely between you and God. Don't disappoint. Read to the end.
GOD: Angels, do you know what I was just thinking about?
ANGELS: What were you thinking about?
GOD: Christians seem to have forgotten what kind of power they have available and the devil keeps on deceiving them!
ANGELS: God, exactly what are you driving at?
GOD: I have made my children in such a way that when the people of the world are sitting, they would be standing, when the world is standing, they will stand out, when the world stands out, my children must be outstanding and when the devil dares the world to be outstanding, my people will be the standards to be used!
JESUS CHRIST: They (Christians) are also forgetting the words in Ephesians 1:3.
GOD: Please read it out!
ANGEL: PRAISE BE TO THE GOD AND FATHER OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST , WHO HAS BLESSED US IN THE HEAVENLY PLACES WITH EVERY SPIRITUAL BLESSING IN CHRIST .
ANGEL: So what do we do now since the end is almost near?
HOLY SPIRIT: My Presence is still among men and I will teach and remind the Christians of all that we have discussed. I will also make sure that they pass this message on!
JESUS CHRIST: I will also keep on interceding for them & stand in for them even in their weaknesses.
GOD:
I will also make sure that I give to all those who ask of me, seek me and try to find me . The blessings I have promised them through My Son, Jesus Christ will be delivered to all those who discover that I, Jehovah, am ready to bless them! Not because of any special things that they have done, but just because I LOVE THEM !
JESUS CHRIST: I will also give all My followers who are willing to pass this conversation on, enough strength to carry on!
ANGELS: We are all backing THE TRINITY and even the devil cannot stop us! How funny! Christians are finally taking over and ......
DEVIL (eavesdropping behind the gates): I hope you all heard! I will deploy more troops (demons) and make sure the Christians pray less, read their Bibles less, preach less and
make sure this mail does not move anywhere! Also......
YOU SURE HEARD THAT! THE DEVIL WILL MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT PASS THIS ON BUT PROVE HIM WRONG AND SHOW HIM THE POWER YOU HAVE IN CHRIST JESUS AS A CHRISTIAN. PRAY MORE, STUDY THE WORD MORE AND PREACH THE WORD! DO NOT DISAPPOINT GOD ! PASS IT ON!
The Lord is my Shepherd ,
I shall not want,
For in Him, I will put my trust.
Love and prayers~ Hope
This one is definitely between you and God. Don't disappoint. Read to the end.
GOD: Angels, do you know what I was just thinking about?
ANGELS: What were you thinking about?
GOD: Christians seem to have forgotten what kind of power they have available and the devil keeps on deceiving them!
ANGELS: God, exactly what are you driving at?
GOD: I have made my children in such a way that when the people of the world are sitting, they would be standing, when the world is standing, they will stand out, when the world stands out, my children must be outstanding and when the devil dares the world to be outstanding, my people will be the standards to be used!
JESUS CHRIST: They (Christians) are also forgetting the words in Ephesians 1:3.
GOD: Please read it out!
ANGEL: PRAISE BE TO THE GOD AND FATHER OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST , WHO HAS BLESSED US IN THE HEAVENLY PLACES WITH EVERY SPIRITUAL BLESSING IN CHRIST .
ANGEL: So what do we do now since the end is almost near?
HOLY SPIRIT: My Presence is still among men and I will teach and remind the Christians of all that we have discussed. I will also make sure that they pass this message on!
JESUS CHRIST: I will also keep on interceding for them & stand in for them even in their weaknesses.
GOD:
I will also make sure that I give to all those who ask of me, seek me and try to find me . The blessings I have promised them through My Son, Jesus Christ will be delivered to all those who discover that I, Jehovah, am ready to bless them! Not because of any special things that they have done, but just because I LOVE THEM !
JESUS CHRIST: I will also give all My followers who are willing to pass this conversation on, enough strength to carry on!
ANGELS: We are all backing THE TRINITY and even the devil cannot stop us! How funny! Christians are finally taking over and ......
DEVIL (eavesdropping behind the gates): I hope you all heard! I will deploy more troops (demons) and make sure the Christians pray less, read their Bibles less, preach less and
make sure this mail does not move anywhere! Also......
YOU SURE HEARD THAT! THE DEVIL WILL MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT PASS THIS ON BUT PROVE HIM WRONG AND SHOW HIM THE POWER YOU HAVE IN CHRIST JESUS AS A CHRISTIAN. PRAY MORE, STUDY THE WORD MORE AND PREACH THE WORD! DO NOT DISAPPOINT GOD ! PASS IT ON!
The Lord is my Shepherd ,
I shall not want,
For in Him, I will put my trust.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Refelctions
I log on daily to read my email, look at job postings, apply to jobs, chat it up on the message board, but I also follow the blogs of Lil' Ones who need my prayers. Lil' Ones who need not only my prayers, but others as well.
Handsome lil' Stellan. Such a trooper! His mom has more strength and faith then any person who I have known in real life. Although this is about someone who I read about on the internet, I feel since I began reading about this lil' boy that he has made a way into my heart. He has made away into ALOT of hearts. I pray that the doctors can find what needs to be done for this handsome lil' man and that he continues to grow, thrive, and fight!
Lil' April Rose, not yet born. Diagnosed with a condition known to be fatal. So many prayers..... I have read a few stories of children diagnosed with Trisomy, but only read one that the child made it past three months and then passed on.... I pray that this child continues to grow in her mother's womb and is able to survive her birth and grows into a beautiful lil' girl. Let this child be a miracle! Let this happen for this family!
The I look at my three munchkins.......
Kayla Anne born 9/15/01 4 days after September 11th
Emma Rose born May 2, 2004
Allison Jade born April 25, 2007 with an IUD in place and three and a half weeks early
Three Lil' Miracles
These three children I NEVER thought I would have. At the age of 17 I was told pregnancy would be impossible based on my medical history (multiple ovarian cysts and a pituitary tumor which made my hormones screwy). I did miscarry right before my 18th birthday, so I thought the doctors could be wrong. Then I married at 19 and we tried and tried and tried. Nothing! We divorced because my exhusband was very controlling, very mentally abusive. I fell in love with a man who I had known the whole while I was with my ex and lo and behold became pregnant fairly quick! Then three years later along comes Emma and three years later, Allison with an IUD in place no less. This just shows me that God is good. He listens to our prayers..... He provides in our darkest times and helps us make the decisions we need to.
Whenever I have times of trouble, I turn to Him. He is the one who guides me to the decisions I need to make. I am a very Christian person. Do I consider myself worthy of some of His graces, no. I feel I am a sinner like many others in the world. But He forgives. He loves us. When everyone else turns their back, God is always there. He has helped me in extraordinary ways and my gift to others is to pray for them. To give to them if they are in need of not only prayers, but material items as well. I am not a rich woman, far from it, but I love to help people and be there for others. I thank the Lord He has given me the patience and the understanding to do what I need to do on a daily basis.
I add the patience part because I am the mommy of a child with developmental delays. My daughter Emma has a speech delay and fine motor issues. She is a trooper! Working so hard with her therapists to overcome her difficulties. She teaches me so many things and for that I also thank God for giving me a child who shows so much love for people in a world full of hate.
I ask anyone who may read my blog to sit and think about your life. Talk to the Lord, whomever your Lord may be. I know not all people out their are Christians. We have a world of many faiths. Think about what the Lord has done for you and what you can do to give back to Him. To give back to others. Doing for others and having my children are the most rewarding things in this life for me and I wouldn't trade it for any amount of money in the world!
God Bless~
Hope
Handsome lil' Stellan. Such a trooper! His mom has more strength and faith then any person who I have known in real life. Although this is about someone who I read about on the internet, I feel since I began reading about this lil' boy that he has made a way into my heart. He has made away into ALOT of hearts. I pray that the doctors can find what needs to be done for this handsome lil' man and that he continues to grow, thrive, and fight!
Lil' April Rose, not yet born. Diagnosed with a condition known to be fatal. So many prayers..... I have read a few stories of children diagnosed with Trisomy, but only read one that the child made it past three months and then passed on.... I pray that this child continues to grow in her mother's womb and is able to survive her birth and grows into a beautiful lil' girl. Let this child be a miracle! Let this happen for this family!
The I look at my three munchkins.......
Kayla Anne born 9/15/01 4 days after September 11th
Emma Rose born May 2, 2004
Allison Jade born April 25, 2007 with an IUD in place and three and a half weeks early
Three Lil' Miracles
These three children I NEVER thought I would have. At the age of 17 I was told pregnancy would be impossible based on my medical history (multiple ovarian cysts and a pituitary tumor which made my hormones screwy). I did miscarry right before my 18th birthday, so I thought the doctors could be wrong. Then I married at 19 and we tried and tried and tried. Nothing! We divorced because my exhusband was very controlling, very mentally abusive. I fell in love with a man who I had known the whole while I was with my ex and lo and behold became pregnant fairly quick! Then three years later along comes Emma and three years later, Allison with an IUD in place no less. This just shows me that God is good. He listens to our prayers..... He provides in our darkest times and helps us make the decisions we need to.
Whenever I have times of trouble, I turn to Him. He is the one who guides me to the decisions I need to make. I am a very Christian person. Do I consider myself worthy of some of His graces, no. I feel I am a sinner like many others in the world. But He forgives. He loves us. When everyone else turns their back, God is always there. He has helped me in extraordinary ways and my gift to others is to pray for them. To give to them if they are in need of not only prayers, but material items as well. I am not a rich woman, far from it, but I love to help people and be there for others. I thank the Lord He has given me the patience and the understanding to do what I need to do on a daily basis.
I add the patience part because I am the mommy of a child with developmental delays. My daughter Emma has a speech delay and fine motor issues. She is a trooper! Working so hard with her therapists to overcome her difficulties. She teaches me so many things and for that I also thank God for giving me a child who shows so much love for people in a world full of hate.
I ask anyone who may read my blog to sit and think about your life. Talk to the Lord, whomever your Lord may be. I know not all people out their are Christians. We have a world of many faiths. Think about what the Lord has done for you and what you can do to give back to Him. To give back to others. Doing for others and having my children are the most rewarding things in this life for me and I wouldn't trade it for any amount of money in the world!
God Bless~
Hope
Monday, April 6, 2009
New To Blogging
Hello everyone out there in internet land! I am new to the "blog craze". Lately I have viewed some blogs of people who are encountering terrible hardships in there lives and that has made me reevaluate how precious life is. Yes, we all have hardships in our lives, but what would we do at the possibility of losing our child? What would we do if someone who we committed to love violated that committment and beat us and we had to escape on our own, scared, alone, with children and not have any money, any furniture, just an apartment to call home? What if a fire or storm took your home away and you had nowhere else to go? What if? People think they have it so bad and then you hear stories such as these.... what would YOU do?
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